Hi everyone, my name is Thomas Jefferson, you know the guy who wrote the Dec of Independence. I know it was a couple of hundred years ago, but I kind of like what I wrote and it seems to have done pretty good so far. Too bad some people forget why my buddies George, Sam and John Hancock stuck out our necks to tell good old King George to leave us alone. We didn’t like him telling us what to so all the time, tax, tax and tax us some more and trying to make us part of his kingdom when we on the other side of the Atlantic pond. He wanted us to fight his wars, etc. We wanted to determine our own rights and our own way of government. We wanted life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Always love those words. Had a nice ring in 1776, actually it has a nice ring today.
So how come we have a bunch in the Kingdom of Fishers, Indiana who don’t believe in letting people rule themselves, that they believe in the rule of King George or in their case King Scott. I hear he has a pretty nice palace on 116th street and another out in the Valleys of Geist. I heard that King Scott just wants to take over one neighborhood after another and bring them under his rule even when they don’t want anything to do with his Kingdom. Right now it is my understanding two of his knights are getting their armies ready to attack, both Sir Art and Sir Stu believe that riding over people is an honor. Did you know that King George sit over his Knights of the Rectangle Table and they always bow to his command. So when Scott says, “annex” they all jump. It seems to be a war cry of the Scott Kingdom. Another war cry that I just don’t understand is “strip mall” I have no clue what this is, never heard of it back in the old days. But one tavern owner, Nickel Plate, strange name for a tavern, told me King Scott wants him to move to a strip mall or else he will bulldoze the tavern. Anyway I have no clue what is a bulldoze? Nothing nice he told me.
Well back to the poor people who King Scott wants to rule and put his kingdom over, of course more taxes and just like King George nothing to show for the taxes. Question for all of you, do you still have a tea tax? Someone told me the King changed the name to property tax because of what we did in 76. Is that true, I find it very interesting.
I was also told you have a band of merry men and women who act more like we did 76 and sort of like Robin Hood to protect the poor and the homeowners form King Scott. While we were called the rebels by King George, I understand this group is called the GUO and King Scott refers to them as the pain in the — yellow sign people. I like the word rebels better. They told me the area they are trying to protect is called Geist. So I suggest they be called the Rebels of Geist. Sort of has a nice flow of words instead or GUO, also maybe King Scott would better understand what it means. A fight to the end with victory just like we did, it took us until 1783. I heard the Rebels of Geist are ready to fight this long with King Scott. Only this time the fighting will be with lawyers, what a mess the world has come too, when you fight with lawyers. Can’t King Scott understand about 95% of the people who live in Geist, don’t want to be part of his kingdom. King George never understood, so maybe it’s the King thing that prevents understanding.
Well, got to run, Martha and George are having me over for dinner and I understand Ben is going to drop by with one of his latest inventions, something to do with a kite and a key. Speaking of inventions, some of your people have been using some words I don’t understand, maybe you can look them up and let me know when we talk again, they are airplane and television. Anyway by best wishes to the Rebels of Geist. As I once said “I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them.” Oh by the way let King Scott know another one of my favorite sayings “When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty.”
